davey EBxHC

(no subject)

"They know... but they want to pretend they don't. I think a very good comparison is how men act with women who is somehow above them (i.e. let's say their manager or someone famous for example) or someone they are afraid of repercussions (i.e. let's say a sister of a close friend). With those women men just do not do the same things as they do with someone they met on Tinder. And there are many men that might respect the boundaries of a random stranger but will NOT respect the boundaries of a sex worker. I used to buy the whole "i'm clueless" thing they were selling but then I realized that the most clueless men act COMPLETELY differently while flirting/dating/speaking with different women. Which means not only that they know exactly what they are doing, they have always known. Every "clueless" action is actually calculated on a subconscious level. And when a woman demonstrates reluctance when a man tries to get physically close - depending on the power dynamic between them - he either ignores that reluctance or respects it."
Винни Пух

i'm just going to leave this here

And, in a very real way, ignoring “the little things” in favor of “the big stuff” makes the big stuff that much harder to eradicate, because it is the pervasive, ubiquitous, inescapable little things that create the foundation of a sexist culture on which the big stuff is dependent for its survival. It’s the little things, the constant drumbeat of inequality and objectification, that inure us to increasingly horrible acts and attitudes toward women.

Irrespective of intent, the recommendation to “ignore the little stuff,” so often intertwined with accusations of looking for things about which to get offended, is not just ill-advised, but counter to the ultimate goal of full equality. It’s like a knife in my gut when I see feminists accusing other feminists of “hurting the cause” by focusing on “the little stuff,” because that’s It—that’s the stuff, that’s the fertile soil in which everything else takes root and from whence everything else springs, that’s the way that the fundamental idea that women are not equal to men is conveyed over and over and over again.